Bizarre New Year's Resolutions

Bizarre New Year's Resolutions

While the new year can bring a wave of fresh and exciting energy, it can also come with some whacko New Year's resolutions that you are highly unlikely to achieve. Who knows, maybe this is the year you finally run a marathon (even though you haven't run in 10 years), become a billionaire (despite your online shopping obsession), or start making your own sourdough bread (even though it's way more convenient to get it from the bakery down the road). Spoiler alert: It's probably not.

The reason most resolutions fail is that they’re more of a broad vision than a specified goal, which makes achieving them a blind shot. For instance, rather than running a marathon, a more realistic goal would be to start running more regularly – say three or four times a week. This way, you slowly get into the habit of running and start learning about what you need to do to run a marathon without seriously injuring yourself. If you're looking to have more fun in the new year, rather than trying to force yourself to do something that probably gives you more anxiety than it does joy, you could simply set a goal of doing one small thing you really enjoy each day, like playing online bingo games or cooking your favourite meal.

Having said that, not all New Year's resolutions are destined to fail, and if you've tried all the typical ones, only to quit on January 9th, maybe it's time to think outside the box. We take a look at seven New Year's resolutions worth giving a shot in 2022.

1. Always leave one potato chip

You know how it goes, not only do you eat every potato chip (and crumb) on your plate or in the packet, you also go for your partner’s when you’re done. Making a resolution of always leaving one chip will ensure that you don't eat past the point of satiation.

2. Tweet what you really think

While it may seem dangerous to share your actual thoughts with the world, just imagine how liberating it would be to vent about how bloody expensive strawberries are, rather than posting a picture of the gluten-free pancakes with strawberries and cream you just made that looked great but were thrown away approximately three bites in (because you really gave them a chance, you know) before devouring an entire can of whipped cream and swearing off sugar forever. Speaking your truth is an act of freedom and your social media followers will be inspired by your authenticity and courage.

3. Have more fun

According to people on the internet, having fun actually has a number of health benefits. Who would’ve thought!? Now, you don't need to interrupt your afternoon tea to go skydiving or give yourself an earache with karaoke; you can have plenty of fun from the comfort of your own home, or wherever you are, by playing slots online. Of course, if you're just looking for a quick dose of dopamine, scratchcards and cat videos are definitely the way to go.

4. Use your gym card more often

The goal is to have a gym card that isn't in mint condition at the end of the year. To help you achieve this goal, and be proud of yourself for seeing your resolutions through, we have some suggestions. Slide your gym card through the doorway the next time you lock yourself out of the house or use it to crush spices if you don't have a mortar and pestle. Of course, you could swipe your gym card at the gym to get yourself a smoothie and some nuts, too.

5. Be as happy as your dog

Happiness, ah, the ever-elusive mistress. Perhaps trying to be as happy as we were when we were backpacking through Thailand at age 21, or as happy as the people on Instagram who get paid to look that way, isn’t realistic. Being as happy as your dog is a more genuine goal.

This way, you’ll be overjoyed every time someone you love comes home (even if they just walked to the postbox and back) or delighted when someone accidentally walks into you then apologises with head scratches. You’ll also feel like you’re cloud nine at every meal, and downright ecstatic whenever you go for a walk!

6. Learn a decent party trick

The new year is approaching and we certainly hope there will be more parties next year. With that hope in mind, you really should develop a real party trick, because no one cares if you can tie a knot in a cherry stalk with your tongue, Susan. Instead, why not learn to moonwalk, play something other than Wonderwall on your guitar, or speak Mandarin? That way, everyone at the party will think you're cool and you might even be invited to the next one.

7. Give one compliment a day

This one is only bizarre because compliments are so rare these days. So whether you're telling your nan how dashing her most recent shade of grey is, or letting your partner know how great they are at choosing laundry detergent, making a resolution to give at least one sincere compliment a day will have you seeking out the best in people. This is an easy, genuine and fun way to change your outlook on life, improve your mood and maybe even make some new friends along the way.

Play online bingo at Lucky Pants Bingo for plenty of fun this new year

Speaking of new friends, did you know online bingo chat rooms are a real laugh? If not, we highly recommend checking in on your local bingo site (cough, cough, Lucky Pants Bingo) and enjoying some great banter with other bingo fans! If you're more of a solo player, slots are available too, and if you're somewhere in between the two, Slingo is your guy/gal. Whether it's the 1st of January or the 1st of July, Lucky Pants Bingo offers year-round fun.

/ 30 December 2021